Why is it so hard to be real? What's the matter with transparency. We all want it, don't we? We want our leaders to be transparent. We want our spouses, kids, friends, enemies to tell us everything. So, why do we keep everything in our own lives hidden away from the sight of everyone? Is it because we're afraid we'll be judged, misconceived, thought less of? Or is it because we're afraid we'll appear weak or vulnerable? Or maybe, is it because we're raised to portray perfection in our lives?
I've had the curse and privilege to be around some difficult situations lately. The curse because it is heartbreaking stuff and the privilege because it's not everyday you get to see beauty in the midst of ashes. I've held the hand of a mother losing her baby. Literally cleaned up the mess. Cried tears of sadness and anger, I've questioned God and His infinite wisdom. And yet learned from her as she says in sadness "I don't know why, but I know God".
"Though He slay me, yet I will trust in Him" Job said. Job, the man stripped of all earthly "good", choose to trust.
There is great rest in trust.
Trust. But how can you truly trust, if you can't be open. How can you place your life in the hands of something or Someone bigger than yourself when you're hiding half of who you are. How can you testify of that trust to others when you're more worried of testifying to the greatness of your life?
I recently sat in a circle of ladies discussing this exact topic. It was refreshing to hear some of them speak about how tough life is. Why is this so refreshing to me? Is it because I'm a negative person that only wants to hear the bad stuff? I've had to search my heart since that night asking that question. And I really truly don't think that is it. I think it's so refreshing because I crave intimacy. I crave openness and realness more than anything. And the most intimate parts of our lives are the parts that are messy. We are most real in our brokenness. We are most authentic when we are completely vulnerable and fully stripped of the fake.
When you say you struggle, you're inviting others to peer into your life. When you say you "just can't", you're opening up the windows into the situation.
Friendship is hard.
Marriage is messy.
Raising kids is horrible sometimes.
Money issues suck the life out of your emotions.
Trusting in God isn't always easy.
Being happy all the time is unobtainable.
Divorce is difficult.
Infertility is heartbreaking.
Sickness is infuriating.
Death is scary and not easily understood.
Single parenthood is exhausting.
Being single is not always fun.
We have multiple hangups in life and slapping a smile on our face all the time is doing us and others a disservice. Going back to Job, you know, he really is such an amazing example to me. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt I would have cursed God and turned my back to Him. I'm not proudly saying that, it is with great shame I admit that. But wow! Job! He truly trusted that while he might not understand what God was doing, he knew the God in whom his trust was placed. God was an anchor for his soul. He didn't hide his sadness or curb his questions. He didn't smile and wave. He trusted. He trusted that God was good, despite being in a tornado of what seemed bad. If he had just smiled and pretended he was excited about losing his children and his life fortune, would we have those penned words? Job was authentic. Job was transparent. Job got it.
"Though it may be a time of weeping and mourning, I can look forward to a time of dancing and laughter". The words of a mother who was told her baby would never be placed in her arms, but in the presence of an almighty, everlasting, all knowing God instead. If she never shared her sadness, her testimony of faith would never encourage others.
I'm not saying you need to write a novel each day of your highs and lows, I'm just saying being true and real is much more encouraging than seeing a fake smile. I find comfort in realness. Because reality isn't always sad. With lows come highs. And how high are those highs when we see how far from the valley we've come? How great is our God when we can say, "I trust in you because you've always been faithful, even in the hard times". Lay it all out there for the world to see, because then they'll get to see the true Object of your faith. The anchor for your soul. The reason that within sadness and difficulty is true beauty.
